[00:00:00] Speaker A: Welcome to Aging Gayfully. We're about adventure, leisure, travel, being a citizen of the world, traveling to destinations, and being a part of the global community as we age and prosper in body, mind and spirit.
[00:00:28] Speaker B: Welcome to Aging Gayfully. I am Josh. And the frog in his throat.
[00:00:33] Speaker A: The frog in your throat. You've had that frog for a couple of weeks now, Josh. What do you, you need a caregiver?
[00:00:41] Speaker B: I, I, Well, I have Amanda, but.
[00:00:44] Speaker A: You have Amanda. She's, she's really good. So what's up? Why are you as.
[00:00:48] Speaker B: As you can see here? Well, first of all, that's Chris. He's not introduced himself yet. Very rude.
I, I want everyone on the video to notice that I have my fluffy robe on here.
[00:01:00] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:01:00] Speaker B: And that is because Florida.
[00:01:02] Speaker A: In Florida something.
[00:01:04] Speaker B: Well, yeah, but this is what we do in Florida. It's called Florida winter. And that's when you turn your AC down to 68 and then you put on heavy clothes, and that's the Florida winter.
But about three weeks ago, I got some sort of something, some sickness, and, and I'm better now, except for my voice. And I have the occasional cough. So I don't know what sort of weird mystery illness I had picked up, but it is. The consequences of it are lagging still. So forgive me if I cough during this recording. I'll do my best to edit it out or maybe I'll just leave it.
[00:01:42] Speaker A: In now that I give it natural.
You know, I think I can diagnose you from here.
[00:01:48] Speaker B: Oh, go ahead.
[00:01:49] Speaker A: I used to have this problem, especially when I bold.
It's a pulled earlobe muscle.
Your headset has.
I can see it. It's a pulled earlobe muscle. I used to have pulled earlobe muscles when I bowled, especially when the tournament wasn't going well. And I need to figure out, how do I get out of this? How do I get out of embarrassing myself? I said I had this pulled earlobe muscle. I just was so imbalanced. So, you know, I don't know. It's kind of. You just, you might be a little unbalanced. You just.
[00:02:28] Speaker B: So what's the treatment for that?
[00:02:31] Speaker A: The treatment for that is more practice, at least on the bowling side for you. It looks like it's your robe. And maybe turn the air conditioning up to 69 instead of 68. I don't know.
[00:02:44] Speaker B: I am definitely not in the shape to turn anything up to 69 right now.
Let me just get my wind a little bit more and then, then we'll proceed to there.
[00:02:53] Speaker A: But, you know, you're you're, you're a good, you're a trooper. You know, you're, you're, you're digging in. We're doing it today.
[00:02:59] Speaker B: Well, listen, life does not stop when we get sick. Unless, of course, there's a global pandemic and then everyone shuts down. But besides that, it has been a heck of a week since we last talked. You've had all of these developments that I'd love for you to.
[00:03:16] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, it's going, you know, I, I really am aging gayfully. I don't, you know, I don't know if anybo out in our aging gayfully sphere has hopped on the Instagram here recently, but I, I've had some really fantastic experiences and it's about again, stepping into your comfort zone. I got, I got hired to, by an artist to sit as a model.
And it's kind of like these new experiences, opportunities present themselves. So I said yes. I kind of knew what I was getting into. But we got to the studio and I knew I was going to be painted on.
But I walked in and I felt like I was in my element.
There was probably six, seven, eight staff people there before the artist arrived. And she came in and we connected and she said, how would you feel if I painted you with your shirt off?
And I said, hell yes. In fact, if she told me to take my pants off, I probably would have, I probably would have been okay with that too. But it just, you know, it was, to me, it was a reminder about following your dream, stepping into your comfort zone. I, I, you know, as she was painting on me, it was kind of like no holds bar. But I did, she did want to paint on my beard. And I said, no, I'm not sure I wanted to do that. I didn't want to do that.
[00:05:01] Speaker B: Don't mess with the money maker.
[00:05:03] Speaker A: Don't mess with the money maker. And that. And actually, I'm glad you brought that up because I asked the staff, I said, well, what attracted you? I mean, they reached out to me. I didn't, wasn't, wasn't something that I would have normally have applied for. Now I'm going to apply for all of them when I see them.
And they, they had a couple of wonderful comments. They said, well, your profile, you come across as approachable, easy to work with.
And then we wanted to paint that, that gray beard of yours. We, we wanted to, we wanted you in these, in these paintings. And it's like, okay, so it's like those mornings when I wake up and it's kind of like in four or five different places. I think, hey, you know, maybe it's time to. Maybe it's time to trim it and this.
No, because all these gigs that I'm getting are.
I, I hope it's because I have some talent. But they're, to a person, they've all in a company. They've said it's the gray beard. So they're, you know, it's a, it's kind of a testament to all of us that are out there that are in our 50s or really more so 60s and 70s. There are opportunities out there if you just kind of step into your comfort zone. And that's, that's kind of like what I'm doing. I feel like, I feel like I'm back bowling 40 years ago. I mean, that's the same type of experience that I have right now as I'm.
Not that I've not always tried to use my talents and skills and any job that I've had or working for somebody else, but there's something exhilarating about doing it with your talents and skills, with your innate talents and skills. And that's really pretty much the second chapter of my life here. So it's.
And I get to talk to cool people like you.
[00:07:14] Speaker B: Well, here's my question. Speaking of cool people, now that you've had these, these pictures taken, where are they going to show up? I mean, is this, is this going to be on billboards? Is this going to be, you know, someone folds out the center fold and there you are with.
[00:07:29] Speaker A: Did you say centerfold?
[00:07:31] Speaker B: Yes. I don't know because I don't know where the, where can people see these pictures? Do you.
[00:07:35] Speaker A: Well.
[00:07:35] Speaker B: Or do you even know? Maybe you don't know.
[00:07:38] Speaker A: Well, there's a couple of things I do know. So it, the, you know, this is the, the final round of work that the artist is doing this year.
So there's a process that she goes. And I'm not, it's not that I'm not revealing the, the artist yet, but that's going to come.
But these photos are going to be 3D enhanced.
Oh, and, and I'll put a link, we'll put a link to the artist's website in the show notes here, but it's going to be a few months before my, my photos are available. And you'll well get a chance to, to buy the 3D versions of these, of these photos. And then there's, there's seven or eight photos on Facebook and Instagram, both at aging gayfully and, and my, my personal Instagram and Facebook.
But there's was probably, I don't know, two or 300 photos that were taken throughout the process.
And what was, what was kind of exhilarating about this is that I think this is the right word. Josh was uninhibited. I was uninhibited by it. I was shocked at how they would, you know, they say, can you move to here?
And it's like it was all natural. Some of these poses that you'll see on social media were taken with an iPhone.
And, and why I'm mentioning that is not that I, you know, I'm not an iPhone user, but those photos are like spectacular. But the professional photographer that was there with his big rig, I can only imagine what these photos are going to look like and these little movie clips are going to look like.
But when I, again, when I walked into the studio, it was like, I'm in my element. And that was the same way I felt.
I've had a couple of other experiences in my life with that bowling for sure. When I walked in a bowling alley, I was in my element when I'm behind a microphone doing a podcast or recording or, you know, you know, one of my funny lines at the studio because they, you know, were taking all these pictures and I, and I said to the photographer, because I knew he would get a kick out. I said, well, I've never met a camera I didn't like.
And that's kind of out of character for me to be so.
What's the right word?
So open about it. Because usually in the settings that I've been involved in most of my professional career, not that my personal personality didn't come out, but there was a whole other side of me that never came out. So it's just as.
Just this whole realm of self discovery at the stage in my life. And it's, it's awesome.
[00:11:14] Speaker B: Well, it is pretty amazing because I, I was thinking about this last couple days, the, the idea of, first of all, we're never too old to, to learn and to grow, but you never do. But, you know, you can have a person who is really struggling and they're struggling and they think, well, I'm broken. I don't really, I must not really have a place in society. And then, you know, they are lucky enough to find rich soil in which they can really grow. And then all of a sudden they discover who it was that they've been this whole time. And so that's what it sounds like has, has happened to you is that this is. You are becoming more and more you as you find better and better soil or more appropriate soil in which to plant yourself.
[00:12:03] Speaker A: Right? And I think it kind of comes back to again, you know, this is stepping into your comfort zone. You know, it's all. The phrase has always been stepping. You know, you need to step out of your comfort zone. And I, you know, maybe it's my dyslexicity, but to me it's the exact opposite. It's stepping into your comfort zone and finding it.
You know, here's an example, and this is a 40 some odd year ago example. But, you know, I, When I was bowling professionally, there was days where you, you practice two and three, four hours a day. I mean, you were in the bowling alley 24 7.
And then, you know, friends of mine who really weren't connected to the bowling scene, which is understandable.
You know, they come in and they'd want to, you know, they'd want to go do something. You know, they, they would sit there and they'd watch. They'd say, well, what, what are you doing? You're just repetitive. You're just. I said, well, you know what? I'm, I'm practicing my skill.
And, you know, that's kind of the, the same mindset I have about these, these gigs and these podcasts and, and again, practicing your skill, it's not, it's not work.
You know, it's like tomorrow I have a, I have an appointment with my voice coach because I've got a audition for a play this week. And it's like, lindsay, Lindsay, I need your help. And, you know, it's like, it's exhilarating.
Or I could, you know, I could sit at my desk and try to do book work. And what that, you know, it's like, all right, I'm gonna fix what's wrong with the website.
I end up breaking it more than fixing it because I don't know what the hell I'm doing.
But if I'm using my talents and skills, and I think all of us want to use our talents and skills to the best of our abilities, you got to step into your comfort zone.
[00:14:26] Speaker B: So it's so interesting to me that when you tell stories about stepping into your comfort zone, you always go back to bowling. Now, you've done several things since then, but is, is bowling really the last time besides now and, and this revolution you're going through now really the last time you felt most fully in a context that. That honored who you were?
[00:14:52] Speaker A: Exactly.
[00:14:53] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. So from now on, your stories are going to be, oh, you know, I was acting in this thing, or I had my shirt off for. For this lady who painted me.
Those are going to be your. Now your stories.
[00:15:06] Speaker A: Oh, wait a minute. I got an idea. Maybe.
[00:15:09] Speaker B: Oh, you're gonna paint yourself up in bowl.
[00:15:11] Speaker A: No. Maybe we should do a shirtless podcast.
[00:15:16] Speaker B: Come on now.
Come on now.
[00:15:19] Speaker A: I'll bring the paint.
[00:15:21] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:15:23] Speaker A: And you're a painter. No, no. You know, you're spot on target, Josh. The. The analogy that I use for my comfort zone is I go back to my bowling career, and that's, you know, the last bowl. The last professional bowling tournament for me was in Baltimore in 1987.
[00:15:48] Speaker B: Wow, that's a big. That's a big gap of time. Well, in 87 and. And, you know, modern day.
[00:15:56] Speaker A: Well, I got that. I did get that. And just remember, you're only 10 years younger than me.
[00:16:04] Speaker B: Yeah, I know. I remember.
[00:16:05] Speaker A: Okay, so. But that was pretty good, though. So do we have a drum roll? Can you use it?
[00:16:10] Speaker B: That's right.
[00:16:11] Speaker A: Yeah.
But no, but I think, you know, when you. You have the time to. To sit back and reflect on different parts of your life, and I think we all do that. I look back on the times that. Where was I most happy?
And I've had some really great jobs.
But were you fulfilled in the. Was where I. Was I fulfilled in those jobs? Was it a job just for the sake of supporting yourself, or was it a. Something that you were using your talents and skills?
You know, I don't know. Maybe if. I don't know if we've talked about this in the past, but as I've had the opportunity to, you know, to reflect and look at where my.
My highs and lows and where I felt comfortable, you know, I didn't come out until I was in my 40s, and so I was always kind of, you know, looking over my shoulder because, you know, I was involved in church, and then I was, you know, involved in professional bowling, you know, all that macho stuff. And it was always that.
My secret. I always had my secret.
And what I've learned from that experience is, you know, I didn't have secrets. My secret had me.
[00:17:42] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:17:43] Speaker A: And I never really had the. I never really felt comfortable enough to be who I really was.
And now that, you know, you're out and about and doing these things and using your talents and skills to the way that you really feel called to do them, there's this comfort zone that just comes in that is natural and that's what I hope everybody can experience.
You know, I understand. We all need them. You need to make a living, you need to do the things that you do, but you want to be able to find something that, to complement your talents and skills rather than just, I gotta go do this.
And I guess if I was more of a risk taker after I quit bowling, I probably would have found something a little bit more attuned to my skills. But, you know, I got into the helping profession, which is a part of my makeup.
But maybe management wasn't the right, the right skill for my, for my background. So.
[00:19:16] Speaker B: Well, it's interesting because that was going to be my next question. You know, as you look back on this journey to where you are now, any regrets?
[00:19:28] Speaker A: I don't have any regrets. I feel like I've lived my life to the fullest as I possibly can and it's only continued to get better. There are things, I think there's a difference between a regret and what would I have done differently if I had known?
I, you know, I, I just don't think like, I don't feel like I have any regrets. I'd like to make a couple of different decisions, but, you know, there's no mulligans in life.
But you hope that you learn from it.
And I, I think for, for at least where I'm at right now, I'm, I see if, like, I still see a wonderful future.
I got. I can I tell you a quick funny story that just happened this week?
[00:20:25] Speaker B: Go.
[00:20:28] Speaker A: I, I and this is no offense to marketers because it's, it's, it's hard, but I had a fellow reach out to me via LinkedIn and he said, you know, I've been looking at your LinkedIn profile and I've, I have to tell you, I could really help you enhance your LinkedIn file with a video. And you know, have you thought about writing a book? And I think that's when I know that they haven't really looked at the.
So I wrote, I said, you know, I keep getting these.
And I wrote back, I said, you know, I really appreciate your, your reaching out and I know you're probably really talented and skilled, but you know what? I'm 68 years old and I'm on the twilight of this part of my life.
I've got other things that I want to do that really aren't related to LinkedIn and sure, I could put all the gig work that I'm doing up on LinkedIn and maybe I will do that, but it's you know, it was another affirmation about following your dreams. You know, I don't want to all that.
I don't want to get involved in things that I'm not good at.
[00:21:53] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. And it's interesting because you're saying that there's no mulligans in life. In a way there's not, but in a way there is, because if we pass on what we would have done different, then someone else will make a different decision. We will have helped them in a way, karmically, that's a mulligan.
[00:22:15] Speaker A: Well, yeah, I, you know, I would agree with you on that because I think when you.
To kind of draw this out a little bit more, you know, we all hopefully learn from our experiences so that when something similar comes up down the road, you can make a better choice because you learn.
You learn from that. So I guess the way to qualify that is by saying, you know, when you make a decision, at least what I'm, you know, as I've learned to check my ego at the door from my four sisters, when I make a decision, you.
That maybe wasn't the right decision that you seem.
That you see a week or a month or a year later or whenever, but in the time that you made that decision, that was what was prevalent in your mind. So you really can't, in one sense, discredit your thought process in the moment.
The facts might have been askewed a little bit, or you might have been looking at it differently, but you made that decision based on what that moment was telling you without really knowing what the outcome was going to be.
I mean, I.
I look at my lived experiences and, you know, I don't, you know, would I. Goodness, you know, I.
I've had a variety of experiences, from bowling professionally to being in the seminary, to running a.
An agency for Catholic Charities, to. I mean, it's kind of. Kind of been a cornucopia of things.
And then when you look back at it, you think, were you most happy? What was the most fun?
And I go back to bowling.
What was fun about that? Well, I didn't need anybody to tell me how good or bad I was, because I knew it just by the end, every time I threw the ball down the lane.
And one of the biggest lessons I learned in bowling that I think we can all apply to every area of life. And it was one of the tournament directors early on in my career, he said to me, and if I'm repeating myself in a previous episode, but I've kind of Lived this motto.
He said, chris, if. When you step onto that approach and grab the ball, if you don't go, if you don't believe you're going to strike, every time you do that, then you're already defeated.
And that's some sage advice.
You know, I got up on that lane every time and I, I held that ball and I said, I'm going to.
Going to strike.
Now.
Didn't. Obviously, it didn't happen every time. But it's that attitude that you have to have with your talents and skills.
And when you're. You're using your talents and skills to the best of your ability in your.
This analogy just came to me. When you're using your talents and skills to the best in the ability, when you're in your lane, that's when happiness happens.
I mean, I. Talking to somebody, this guy, this guy named Josh, that's like a fantastic writer, poet, artist.
And when I, When I listen to your poetry and I see your. Your artwork that you do, it's like, man, this guy is freaking talented.
And that's kind of how we connect.
Kind of turn the tables here just a little bit, because I can't. I can't make it all about me. But.
[00:26:53] Speaker B: Yes. And when I find a world in which I can just do these, I'm pointing to the paintings back behind.
[00:27:03] Speaker A: Yeah.
Especially the one that's over your.
Well, I don't know.
[00:27:07] Speaker B: It's that one.
[00:27:08] Speaker A: Yeah, that one right.
[00:27:09] Speaker B: That one right there.
So, yeah, if anyone wants to pay, you know, be my patron. You know, we can go back to the old system.
Oh, yeah.
Would you like to be my Patreon?
[00:27:21] Speaker A: We can put aging gayfully on Patreon. And, you know, so we.
[00:27:27] Speaker B: We will see. We will see. But speaking of aging gayfully, how can people reach out to us, tell us their stories, you know, finding their comfort.
[00:27:37] Speaker A: Zone, you know, because it's through story sharing where diversity meets the road to collaborate on a common cause. And they can find us on aging gayfully.com or they can email us at. Yes, I
[email protected]. josh, you got through this whole session without coughing.
[00:27:57] Speaker B: I know, I know. I did have to take a sip of what we're calling water in here.
And so that. That helped me out. So that's good. No, I did okay. I think that this episode is a keeper. I think we'll just go ahead and release this thing.
[00:28:09] Speaker A: Well, why not? I mean, and stay tuned for our shirtless aging gayfully.
[00:28:15] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, stay tuned.
[00:28:17] Speaker A: Just.
[00:28:17] Speaker B: Just don't hold your breath, I would be concerned. But do stay tuned and check out the.
[00:28:26] Speaker A: The photos of the artist and me posing.
[00:28:30] Speaker B: Oh, I put. I've put them in the episode, so when you're talking about it, I put them in.
[00:28:34] Speaker A: Oh, okay. Well, and I don't need to. I don't need to self promote because I'm still looking.
I'm still working on that myself.
[00:28:43] Speaker B: Well, yeah, do, do self promote. Absolutely.
[00:28:46] Speaker A: Go and, go and look at the pictures.
[00:28:49] Speaker B: Go and look at all of them and be expecting at some point that he's going to be on, you know, in Times Square up on the, on the billboards with all of the other shining lights.
[00:29:01] Speaker A: Well, I so appreciate you, Josh.
[00:29:05] Speaker B: You're the best. You're the best, and our audience is the best. But we do want to hear from you also. Do email us your story.
[00:29:12] Speaker A: Tell us. Everybody has a story, but not everybody gets a chance to tell their story. So this is the way to.
This is the way to come on the aging gayfully.
[00:29:22] Speaker B: All right, folks, so until next time, I've been Josh, that's been Chris.
We'll see you soon, Sam.
